If you only commit one of the seven cardinal vices, at least treat yourself. Gluttony is the most forgiving sin, right? If your vice comes in the form of thousands and thousands of calories (and we mean thousands of them), there are plenty of opportunities in West Michigan to loosen your belt a little. Oh, who are we kidding? You're gonna need a new belt.
5/3 Ballpark is home to the biggest and baddest eating competition in West Michigan. One so big that it even caught the attention of Adam Richman, host of "Man V. Food." If you can finish the Fifth Third Burger, which weighs in at five pounds and has nearly 5,000 calories, bythe end of the game, you’ll walk out (barely) with a “Call 911” T-shirt and your name in the hall of fame. Just make sure you grab a seat close to the exit or bathroom.
In the vein of combining competitive sports and competitive eating, try the Hat Trick competition at the next Grand Rapids Griffins game (not available on Friday home games). If you can eat three jumbo hot dogs in 20 minutes you’ll get a free T-shirt, but no guarantees you’ll get your dignity.
Rockford is home to The Corner Bar, the oldest surviving brick building in Rockford. The Hot Dog Hall of Fame dates back to 1968, and has challenged more than 5,000 brave souls to finish as many chili dogs as they can in the allotted four hours. Think you can beat Tim Janus? He ate 43 ½ dogs and holds the title as the Reigning Professional Champion. If pizza's more your thing, head over to Wolfie’s Pizza and Subs in Muskegon for the Junkyard Challenge. You’re given 30 minutes to wolf down a five-pound pizza by yourself, no substitutions. You’ll get a T-shirt, your picture on the wall of fame, and a coupon for 20 percent off.
For those with more refined taste, The Crazy Carnivore Challenge at the Crazy Horse Steakhouse and Saloon in Holland offers a birthday cake-sized 3 lb. prime rib, mashed potatoes, bread, and corn chowder. Eat it all in less than 30 minutes and the dinner will be on the house, you’ll get a “meat head” T-shirt,and your picture on the wall of fame. 65 men have tried (come on, ladies!) and less than half have succeeded.