When Chris Carrabba songwrites, he clears his calendar.
“If I allow it to overtake my day, my life, for however long it's going to visit me, the song itself is so much better for it,” Carrabba told Revue. “It is inherently selfish, and by that I mean, it's not my selfishness; it's the song's selfishness.”
As the lead singer of Dashboard Confessional, an alt-rock solo project, Carrabba cherishes when his creative muse appears—even if that means canceling plans with his friends to finish a song.
“I'm pretty vocal with the people that care enough about me to want to forgive this kind of behavior. It almost makes me sound like I'm a victim of it, but I’m not. It's a wonderful place to get to.”
Despite Dashboard Confessional’s commercial success—including a number two record on Billboard U.S. charts—like most artists, Carrabba’s bursts of creativity are often double-edged with imposter syndrome.
“Within the same course of hours, you might feel like songwriting was your purpose, and then conversely you think, ‘How did they let a hack like me into the door? How’d they even sell me guitar strings?’” Carrabba said. “You feel totally invigorated by the process and then absolutely lost for any comfort.”
If Carrabba ultimately does deem a song as “bad,” he still sees the time he spent writing as good.
“I've actually found [bad songs] to be very instructive. They are a piece that I have to write my way through, to collect like shards of energy or like bits of ideas, and put them back into the toolbox for future use. If you don't allow some of the bad notes out, you're not going to allow the best note out either.”
Even with 20 years of performing as Dashboard Confessional, Carrabba believes his songs are never truly finished. His music continues to evolve with every tour he takes.
“The daring nature of live performances really is a piece of that continual evolution a song has, where it's just continued to be written,” Carrabba said. “The meaning of the song is so much richer for all the iterations that it became along the way.”
But these iterations of Carrabba’s work couldn’t be written without his touring crew who travel with him to execute the technical aspect of his performances.
“One of the most beautiful things to me is that I've had these traveling companions that are absolutely invested in the show,” Carrabba said. “The bond you have offstage is just so tight, and the experiences you have traveling the country, and the world, together are so much richer for who you're with.”
Carrabba’s front of house engineer, Zach Eubanks, is one of these key members on Dashboard Confessionals team. Having first mixed monitors for Carrabba—the mix heard only by the band onstage—he’s now crafting the sound for audiences at each show.
“I can't do a show without Zach. He's just incredibly good at front of house, so great that it’s where he should be. It's sort of the money job, the hero shot.”
Carrabba says that having someone like Eubanks on his team is powerful because of his commitment and understanding of Carrabba's artistic vision.
“You just develop this kind of trust, and this understanding, that this person cares so much about the show you're able to put on for them knowing that no one's clapping for them. It's a real selfless act, and it takes great skill to do these jobs. We're so lucky that we're very often able to keep our crew for long periods of time, if not for their whole career.”
It’s fair to say that these are not nine-to-five roles. Carrabba has spent innumerable hours of his life traveling for his music, having performed on the road before he was old enough to rent a car.
“There is just something indefinably unique about this kind of life that we lead. I would say that the 22 hours we're not on stage are not that great, but those two hours on stage are tremendous,” Carrabba said. “We're in the business of delivering people the night of their lives. It's this valiant, communal effort that I really cherish.”
Whether dedicating months at a time to songwriting, or spending countless nights away on tour, Carrabba wouldn’t have chosen to pursue his life’s purpose any other way.
“As a person, I have grown immeasurably because of Dashboard Confessional,” he said. “I really hope and plan to be able to keep playing these songs with people that care about these songs, but more importantly, care about music in the way that I care about music, for the rest of my life.”
And it seems Carrabba will have the opportunity to do just that, no matter what life throws his way.
“I have always understood that if I had ended up being a manager at a grocery store or something, I would still be racing home to write my little songs,” Carrabba said.
“I don't think that I had the choice to not do this.”
Dashboard Confessional
GLC Live at 20 Monroe
11 Ottawa Ave. NW, Grand Rapids
Sep. 18, 7-9 p.m.
glcliveat20monroe.com
