As a bartender it’s obviously pretty difficult to make any money if you’re surrounded by sober people. We understand, and it really is our job, to make sure that people get responsibly “turnt up,” as the kids say.
But there is a line in the sand that you, the bar patron, should not cross. That line: getting sloppy, throw-up drunk. And we understand that is going to happen occasionally. But there are some fairly simple rules to follow should you get to the point of blowing chunks.
For starters - and I know this is difficult depending on how many Washington Apples and/or G&Ts you’ve thrown back - please, please, PLEASE, get the vomit in the damn toilet. Because you know what? Someone has to clean that up. And cleaning up undigested salad (yes, I have done that) is just gross.
Again, I recognize that depending on levels of intoxication, getting it all in the toilet can be a tricky endeavor. In that case, the floor is the second best receptacle, as it is an easy cleanup. Just never puke in the sink or urinal.
Upon completing your ralphing, you will most likely be approached by the bar’s staff. They will inform you that you have had toomuch to drink and it’s time to exit the bar (probably right after you drink some much-needed water). There are a couple of very simple rules here.
1). Don’t lie. Bar staff knows who puked.
2). Don’t tell us you need to finish your drink because that is not going to happen.
3.) Just leave when we ask you to.
Remember, bar staff are the sober ones.
Nick Manes is a writer and bartender who is honestly more grossed out by making Bloody Marys than cleaning up vomit.
